Oh Scotland, My Scotland!
by Taylor Ruggiero
Summary: This was a requested Rudolph Sackville-Bagg Oneshot on quizilla. I decided to put it up on here as well, so you can all enjoy it. Please review!


"Auntie Sam can I have an ice cream?!"

Looking down at the two year old boy, I smiled. Of course I can't say no to this adorable child. Let's just not tell my twin brother, Nathan, that I actually poisoned the mind of his Jayden. While he was busy doing twin sibling stuff, I silently skipped my way over to the rather small ice cream stand nearby. Jayden followed close by, giggles threaten to pass his baby lips.

A woman with a tacky uniform on, peered at us through her broken spectacles, "What can I do for you?" Hm....since this is an ice cream stand, I think I want ice cream! You know, if that isn't any trouble and all. Jayden pulled the sleeve of my fingerless gloves, wanting to inform me on his choice. Ah, the usual cookie dough. How did I know?

I returned my gaze to the worker, "One cone of cookie dough please."

"....Coming right up...." Was her bored reply. Well, that's not very reassuring. Maybe I should have Nathan taste the diary goodness before handing it over to his son. Hey! What can I say? Parents would do anything for their kin.

Jayden impatiently hopped from one foot to the other, "Auntie, does Daddy know I'm getting an ice cream?" Honestly, if he did, we wouldn't be here now. Nathan really doesn't like Jayden having too many sweets, claiming that he gets too hyper. He then proceeds to give me a look practically screaming, 'He kinda reminds me of someone I know.' That's offensive! I'm not _that_ hyper.

Patting his soft toddler hair, I answered wisely, "In fact, your father is not aware of our actions. It'll be a secret---alright?" Jayden is known to blurt out anything to anybody. When my nephew nodded in agreement, I prayed to the heavens that he'd forget about the whole thing in a few seconds. Babies don't have a good memory span.

The worker roughly handed me the slightly dripping ice cream, "That'll be seven pounds." I almost dropped the cone onto the dirty pavement below. _Seven pounds?!_ For a little treat? Bloody hell.....money is just flying out of my wallet these days. Pretty soon, my life will be reenacting The Great Depression.

"Uh—are you sure you put that in right? I mean----."

Jayden stared up at me with his huge eyes. Aw no. Not this. Please. The secret weapon gutted out, making my legs feel like jell-o. In case you don't know what that weapon is....it's the 'oh so' famous Stone pout. Mostly everyone in my family has it, and uses it to such extremes. It's no surprise that baby Jayden was next in line to keep the heir running.

He whimpered, "Can I have it, Auntie Sam?"

The woman behind the counter didn't help with the situation, "You don't want to disappoint the child, do you?" No one asked you! Okay, think about this. If I refuse to pay the stupid price, Jayden will start crying for sure. And when _that_ happens, it will be brought to Nathan's attention, who is trying to get a bank loan not only a few feet away. In the end, I'll probably be banned to ever babysit Jayden and my brother will become one of those overly protective fathers who won't even let the boy go to the bathroom on his own.

Too dramatic? Of course, I have to be if I want to be on Board Way.

Moments of soap opera silence later, I whipped out my duct tape wallet, regret filling each pour on my pale face. Seven pounds....there you are. Just sitting in the corner, totally not expecting that you're going to be traded over for a simple ice cream. I'm sorry guys, you could have been put to better use. For example, a nice pair of earrings should be on my ear lopes right now.

"Here you go."

Jayden squealed from absolute joy as I handed down the melting cookie dough dessert. The smile on his dimply face made me forget about the large amount of money I had just wasted. Ah.....kids.....can't live with them, can't live without them.

Suddenly, I felt someone rudely yank the end of my red haired ponytail. My fists balled up tight, ready to open a can of kick ass on the poor person who decided to commit a cowardly act at the time being. No, I don't have a temper, I'm just very....what's the word....._open_ to my emotions.

I growled, "What the bloody hell do you think you're---!"

Nathan raised his eyebrows at me, "Bloody hell? What have I told you about cursing in front of Jayden?" Crap. Busted.

Jayden beamed up at the teenage father, "Hi Daddy! Look what Auntie got me!" He lifted the messy cone, thankfully getting nothing on his shirt. Didn't I tell him it was a secret before? Oh wait, this is Jayden we're talking about. The kid is a doll, however, he still doesn't understand that talking to strangers are bad.

"Oh? I see it. I'm just wondering why your Auntie would do a thing like that. Dinner is in an hour!" Great, he's using his fake nice voice. I'm in trouble. Ever since Emily left----alright, maybe I shouldn't go into that. Cut to the point, Nathan has grown up a lot since the time he got his girlfriend pregnant, and even more when she left him.

I quickly encouraged the baby of the family to finish his treat before Nathan took it away, "You know, Jayden, why don't you sit over there and eat it?" My index finger was pointing to a bench in clear view of our sight. He did as he was told, his chubby legs stumbling around here and there.

Nathan crossed his arms sternly, "Really Sam? Again?"

I shrugged my shoulders helplessly, "Come on, Nat. You never let the kid have any fun. Besides, the ice cream isn't that big. His tummy will probably be asking for more in a few minutes anyway!"

My twin brother glared at me, "Don't call me Nat. I'm not a girl. It's not about the ice cream that I'm annoyed about. You always say yes to everything he wants, making me look like the bad guy. What if he starts to like you better?"

"You're the dad! Of course he's gonna detest you sooner or later! I'm like the grandmother in this relationship. I gotta spoil him as much as I can before I die!" Insert pretend fainting here. All so necessary.

Nathan didn't seem very amused by my joke, for he remained quite serious. I hate it when he does that. Lighten up a little! Life is too short to worry yourself into a panic attack, but then again I don't have another human being to take care of. In the corner of my eye, I noticed Jayden had long gone finished his ice cream and was attempting to throw it in the trash can that was obviously three feet taller than him.

"Sammy, there's something else I got to tell you."

Uh oh, Nathan only calls me Sammy when he got himself into a jam or done something I clearly wouldn't like. What's it this time? Taken too much money in the bank that he could handle? Caught looking at a chick's ass by the boyfriend?

Brushing the bangs from my eyes, I stated, "Alright. Give it to me straight. Do we need to move to another apartment again?"

Nathan rolled his eyes, "Actually, no. I'm not in any trouble or conflict. While you were turning my child into a brat, I got a call from a business company. They offered me a job." Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Do I hear correctly? My brother, the twin, the older one, the father, finally got a job?! Let's say delivering newspapers every morning just doesn't cover it anymore.

"Dude!" I punched his shoulder, causing him to wince, "---Way to go! What kind of job is it?"

Nathan's expression automatically turned fearful, "Yeah....about that.....there's _more_ you need to know about it..."

"Don't tell me. You're not a prostitute are you?! Bloody hell, Nathan! Think of your child?! What would he think if you came home one night all dressed in drag?! I really don't think Mister Sock Puppet can explain why his Daddy is barely wearing any clothes!"

My twin brother's face lit up like a tomato. You had to see it! If only my camera was with me....this baby would have been all over the internet by now....anyway, Nathan stammered out his next words, "What?! No! My job doesn't involve anything with lacy fabric nor lipstick. But it _does_ involve heavy machinery and...Scotland."

Oh! Guessing game! I love these! Okay, heavy machinery....is he going into constructing? Hopefully the bucks pay big. Now, Scotland. That could be the name of the business company who is willingly to hire such a bonehead. Yes. I think I won.

"Well that's great. We better hurry home if dinner is going to be on the table by five." I advanced towards Jayden who was still struggling to throw away the cone.

Nathan stopped me in my tracks, "Sam? Didn't you hear me? We're moving to Scotland! All of us! I'm going to work for some really rich snobby man who owes plenty of important buildings." Wait a second! I can't move to _Scotland_! Of all places! What about my career as a famous actress? Down the toilet, that's what.

Jayden's voice brought me back to reality, "I did it! I did it!"

Turing around, my eyes popped out of my head like they would on a cheesy cartoon. Before Nathan and I, was this darling little boy, standing in a disgusting trash can, ice cream cone gone from view. How he managed to get there was beyond me, however, I couldn't help but gag after seeing Jayden gotten left over pizza on the side of his cheek.

Nathan chuckled, "Make that a quick bath _then_ dinner."

* * *

Everything went downhill from there. Nathan, Jayden and I rushed home, only to quickly pack our things later. Damn that business company! How much does this job cost again? Oh right, apparently a lot. Nathan keeps reminding every second while I try my best to pick up Jayden's slightly dangerous baby toys. Why?! Whyyyyyyyyy?! I don't care if I sound like a whiny twelve year old girl, who wants to move to _Scotland_?

Nathan sighed, sweat slowly swimming down his exposed forehead, "It's not that bad, Sam! You can make up a career there." He has no idea what he's talking about. My twin brother doesn't want to make it big, he just wants to get by. I, on the other hand, wants to be free, always! I'm being tied down to a certain spot on the Earth and I don't like it one bit! Jayden, being the baby, didn't seem to care that we were moving away from his home.

"Will there be ice cream in Cotland?"

How adorable, he said Scotland wrong. Maybe if I say there isn't any, he'll start crying, making his father feel like a pile of.....potatoes.

Nathan threw the last bag into the roaring taxi and turned to us, beaming his big head off, "Ready?!" No. Where's those handcuffs when you need them? I'd cuff myself to the gate and shallow the key! (In reality, I would probably have to be hurried to the hospital, considering how I ate an METAL key!) Never mind, that's not a good idea.

Jayden jumped up and down, "Auntie, Auntie! What are you waiting for?! Let's gooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Jesus.

Grumbling, I dramatically dashed into the car, earning an odd expression from the silent driver in front. Hey! You're a stupid taxi driver for crying out loud! You should be used to strange people invading your personal space! Then again, this is England. Everyone is polite here. Nathan slid next to me, Jayden squirming in his thin lap.

The taxi man wondered, "Where to?"

"The airport please!" Nathan smiled pleasantly.

"Alright, Sir."

I couldn't bear glance back at our old apartment. Tears threaten to brim over, completely ruining my somewhat tough appearance. Keep it together, for the baby! Good actresses are supposed to look like nothing is wrong even when they're having panic attacks on the inside.

"You folks twins?" Oh no, the taxi dude speaks once more. Nathan simply nodded and I rolled my eyes. It's obvious we are, just take a gander at our faces! The only difference would be our hair color, thing number two (Nathan), decided to dye his hair long ago. Mister 'I don't know when to stick my ugly fat nose out of other people's business' glanced over at Jayden. He raised an questioning eyebrow as we made a sharp right turn.

He stated, "Your brother."

"Actually, no. _My _nephew." Take that!

"Oh."

And that caused the end of the awkward conversation, having it replaced by an equally awkward silence. The sound of Jayden humming suddenly filled the cab, making a smile return to my face. Just wait until he's older, when hormones kick in. Nothing but 'I hate my life!' and the amazingly famous 'Get away from me, Dad!' Ha, life is gonna suck for Nathan.

Taxi man abruptly stopped the car, placing his arm around the seat beside him, "We arrived at your destination."

Nathan and his son piled out, cornering me with the bill. Great. Wallet time. I'm sorry! I must open you once more and steal your treasures. My eyes rested on the clock like money meter. Crap. Have we really gone that far? Taxi man cast me an evil glare, as if saying, 'try to make a run for it and you're dead'. Well, bloody hell. Next time we're walking.

I practically emptied my wallet in his dirty hands, "Keep the tip!"

Slam.

The car sped off, beeping a few times at growing traffic. Here we are, the England airport. Why not just bloody sail to Scotland? At least it would be adventurous, however, no, Nathan insists doing things the normal way.

Jayden pulled on my gloves for the billionth time today, "Yay! Yay!"

Nathan grinned, pearly white teeth revealed, "Our plane leaves in twenty minutes, so I suggest you keep a good hand on Jayden, Sam. There's gonna be a lot of runnin'." That little bastard. Totally regret the half hour I spent in front of the mirror, perfecting my makeup and hair.

* * *

"That was fun!" Jayden declared after plopping in the torn airplane seat next to me. Yes, such fun. We ran through crowds and crowds full of cranky people who just want to get home. I nearly almost tripped over an old lady's walker. Of course, Nathan being the perfect little gentlemen let several women cut in front of us in line. He claimed later that it set a good example for the kid who was basically ripping my arm off at the time.

Nathan ruffled his son's hair, breathing heavily, "I'm going to take a nap. Wake me up when we get there, will you?"

I shot him a completely ticked off look, "Why don't you let _me_ sleep and you wake me up when we get there?" It's hardly fair, Nathan had us running around everywhere! ANDDDDD....it's his fault we're moving to Scotland. No response came from my twin brother. Hello? Did he hear me? Turning slightly to the side, I realized Nathan had already fallen in a deep slumber. Bloody bastard.

"What now Auntie?"

"I dunno, what do you want to do?" I feel like a child again who is lazily sitting by the river bank with their best friend. Oh those warm summers filled with swimming and melting popsicles.

Jayden tried to escape from the airplane seat belt, and failing miserably I might add, "Duck duck goose! Play, play play!" People around us gave me stern glances, as if they wanted me to quiet the kid down. He's not mine! I'm not the overbearing irresponsible teenage girl who hooks up with anything that walks! Sorry, Nathy boy, but Emily was quite a.....never mind.

I leaned down to my excited nephew's level, "Gotta calm yourself, buddy. I promise I'll get you more ice cream in Scotland if you drift off to sleep like your Daddy."

He didn't need to be told twice. In a matter of seconds, I heard the cute baby snores of Jayden beside me. Thank God. Reaching over, I grabbed the headphones that were carelessly hanging from the low ceiling. Might as well entertain myself with what the other citizens are currently listening/watching on the big screen up ahead.

Oh boy!

Rocky Horror Picture Show!

At least there's still humanity in the world. I ignored the sinking feeling in my stomach, closing the small window. _I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania_!

* * *

Beep! Beep! "Hello, my fellow travelers, I am glad to say we have successfully landed in Scotland. Please wait for our advisors to lead you out of plane!" Beep! Beep! The captain has left the building. Nathan and Jayden were still snoozing with brilliant smiles on their look alike faces.

Nudge.

Nudge.

Oh come on, get up.

Jayden cracked his tiny eyes open, unaware to his surroundings, "Wha????"

"We're here, kid."

"Yay!"

I didn't stop him when he jumped up, unbuckling the belt that had kept him from freedom for so long. I also didn't reframe Jayden from rudely waking up Nathan. Har! Har! Now he probably has toddler drool in his neatly done hair. Thing number two woke up soon afterward, wrinkling his nose. Wait for it....wait for it! His hand flew to his less spiky hair, expression unreadable.

He wondered, "Why is my hair wet?"

Jayden giggled, "The sandman poured wet beach sand on your head!"

"Oh yes, I saw the whole thing." I nodded in agreement while Nathan rolled his eyes. Eh, he'll figure it out later that his son drooled all over his hair spray infested locks.

Suddenly, a voice above snapped us from the absolutely weird family conversation, "Excuse me? Are you ready to exit the plane now?" Blue uniform. Uh oh, you know what that means. They've arrived for us! Judgement Day! Yes, I'm implying Scotland is the Reaper.

Nathan blushed, causing me to snicker behind my hand, "Why yes."

The woman flashed a fake grin, before leading us out to the familiar plane tunnel. I hate going through these things. What if they randomly collapse and we go falling down to our doom? If I don't die, I'd totally sue the airline.

Jayden grabbed the advisor's slim hand, "Are you my new Mommy?" Face palm. Daddy's face flushed once more, mumbling apologies to the stranger that is walking us to safety.

Miss 'I hate my job' simply shrugged it off, "It's alright. I get mistaken all the time." What the bloody hell does that even mean? Does she look like little kid's parents? Jayden brushed closer to Nathan, who could obviously wanted to get out of this place.

"Well, here we are! Have a nice stay in Scotland."

"Gee, thanks." I tried to push all the sarcasm away from the sentence, however, that didn't work out too well. Cursing silently to myself, I hurried off to the baggage pick up, feeling the annoyed eyes of the advisor behind. The only way to becoming an actress is act more like her, pretending like nothing is wrong, but once they turn their backs, secretly plot their deaths. I always wanted to play an evil villain!

Nathan slung some bags over his shoulder, "Hurry uppp!!!!"

God, he sounds like Jayden.

My suitcase decided to be an ass and be one of the last bags to roam around the area. Of course. After spying the several stickers of Board Way, Rocky Horror Picture Show and many more, we were out of there like scattered wildfire.

* * *

The house in front of me wasn't something I expected. It's huge! More like a castle than anything else. Jayden's eyes widened, claiming on how much fun he's going to have playing hide and seek in such a big environment. Nathan twisted the bronx key in the lock, pushing it open and smirked at the look on my pale face. Rich business company equals amazingly HUGE castle/mansion/......peewee's playhouse.

"Nice, eh?"

I waved my hand at him, "Whatever. I'm impressed, let's just see how long this job will last. I bet we'll be out in the cold hard streets of a foreign country by next week."

Jayden threw his hands up in the air, "Hobos!"

Nathan strolled into the overly dramatic kitchen, "Trust me. This is going to _last forever_. It's the bee's knees, my dear Sammy."

"Stop speaking like Sherlock Holmes."

"Uh---the greatest detective of all time did NOT talk like that. Bee's knees is definitely mine."

"........Whatever you say, bro....whatever you say...."

* * *

You know what? We have weird neighbors. I'm not surprised really, a great house must have some loony bins living around it. Not only a few hours later, Nathan informed us that we would be having a welcome dinner at the house next door. The Thomspons. Spiky blonde hair, harry potter glasses and the most dorkiest smile I have ever seen in my life....Jayden has found his new (and first) best friend. Dottie and Bob, the parents of this vampire obsessed boy, were thrilled to finally have someone Tony (the blonde Harry Potter) could play with.

***~Flash Back~***

"_You're going to have a great time down at the grounds..._" _Bob stated towards Nathan who was hungrily shoveling down the wife's cooking. _

_Tony smiled over at Jayden, "Do you like vampires???" _

"_What are bampires?" _

"_No! Vampires!!" _

_I carefully played with the food on my plate, "He's only two years old. Pretty sure the horror movie monsters will frighten him beyond belief." _

_Tony stared up at me, since he's a good couple feet shorter than me, "Only two?! How can he talk?!" Dottie seemed embarrassed for she whacked her son's hand with a napkin. _

"_Tony! Don't ask such personal questions!"_

_Nathan chuckled lightly, not bothered at all by Tony's bluntness, "It's alright. I got Jayden watching those educational videos at eighteen months, things just went on from there." _

_Dottie raised her eyebrows, "Oh? Don't we wish we did that with little Tony, right, Bob?" The young blonde practically buried his small nose in the table cloth. I wonder how old this kid is? Surely he looks eight or nine. Why so interested in a two year old boy? _

"_Tony doesn't have many friends at his elementary school..." _

_That's why. _

**~*End of Flash Back*~**

The rest of the night consisted with Tony making plans with my nephew to have a sleep over on a random weekends. Nathan was hesitant at first, however quickly gave in to the puppy dog look Jayden had on his face while walking to our new house.

So here I am now, thinking about the strange kid who is basically in love with vampires. A phase? Probably. It's just, Tony acted as if he actually knows a real creature of the night. What if he does? Oh don't be stupid. Vampires aren't real. Nathan also doesn't favor the idea of Jayden being exposed to blood sucking 'bugs', yet again, he's only two.

Nathan plopped next to me, clearly tired from the battle he just had trying to get Jayden to fall asleep in his new room, "What do you think of our neighbors."

"One word."

"And what word is that?"

"WEIRD."

My twin brother patted my palm that was laying on the counter, "Seem nice enough, though. Their kid is a loner, I can tell. Nine years old? Jayden is almost taller than him."

He's right. Tony is a loner, who happens to have a make believe vampire friend. God, my brain can only take a certain amount of complete weirdness. Time for bed! I bid my farewell to the Nathan, he merely acknowledged my departure and filled the table with overdo bills. It's not like we need them anymore.

* * *

"Get to sleep....get to sleep..." I couldn't for the life of me. Why has my body tricked me so? It addressed that it was worn down, so I obeyed it's commands and hopped into bed. Now that I'm in, it suddenly wants to do a million jumping jacks. I considered going back downstairs and watching Nathan rip apart each bill that gave him stress in the past, although.....I'd rather not witness him waste perfectly good trees.

_Eeeeek! Eeeeeek! _

What. Was. That.

_Eeeeeeek! Eeeeek!_

Time to fly out of bed and run for your life! There's a monster under my bed! Or worse, in the CLOSET! I listened for the noise to continue, however, it stopped just like that. As if the unknown stranger was observing my movements. Damn, that's just plain creepy. Nights like these make me want a night light...oh those old days. Jayden, you lucky baby, for not having a 'eeeking' stalker in your room. Better me than him.

Slowly, I lifted myself off the cloud nine pillow, eyes adjusting to the midnight darkness. Nothing. No suspicious shadows in the corner or looming figures by the door. Maybe it was just my imagination. Cue suspenseful music as I tip toe out of bed, advancing towards the locked window. The stalker may have wings....so he could be on the ledge, waiting for me to single handedly let him in. How do I know he's a he? That's easy, I don't. Hollywood brainwashed me into thinking that all serial killers are disgusting men.

I was shocked by my croaking voice, "Hello? Anyone there?"

"_Yes_."

"Who said that?!"

"_Me_."

Okay, my stalker is getting annoying, "Me....who?"

"_Rudolph Sackville-Bagg_." Oh lord. What kind of name is that? A giggle past through my lips, seriously, I can't take being murdered maturely if the dude's name is something as funny as that.

I reached forward, grasping the slippery cloth curtains, "Rudolph, the red nosed reindeer?" Stall it, stall it. I can escape if I distract the insane man who probably has a knife behind his back. Whoever he was, laughed at my remark. Ah....at least he has humor.

"_No....Rudolph as in the vampire...Tony next door requested I come here to pick up Jayden...it seems like I have the wrong room..._"

Woah, woah, woah! Vampire?! I knew it! Tony has befriended a vampire! This is something I need to see, so without a second thought, I pulled apart the curtains only to be met with ruby red eyes. _Wow_. Those are some beauties he got there. Next I noticed the black messy yet attractive mop on his nicely shaped head. Most handsomest boy.....or man...I have ever met.

Rudolph gracefully stepped into my room, "Hello."

"H-H-Hi...I mean, yes hello. I'm sorry, but I don't think you can take my little nephew away. My brother would flip if he finds out as well." Excuses, excuses.

"Oh...My deepest apologies for interrupting your sleep...mortal..." The vampire looked doubtful, as if he was wondering if I was telling the whole truth. Yeah, I wasn't. The part where vampires are real is still sticking to my mind like glue.

I gained the usual bounce to my step, "Sam, it's Sam. So...you're Tony's friend you say?"

"Yes."

An awkward silence ticked by, making me want the vampire to fly away already. Why is he still here? Most importantly why is he staring at me like that? Oh bloody hell, I'm not going to become his next meal am I? His rather small nose twitched slightly, taking in a whiff of something either good or horrible.

I asked with more annoyance than I expected, "Um, what are you doing?"

Rudolph took a step backward, almost falling out the window, "Nothing. It's just....you smell like cotton candy." No duh, that stuff is my life.

"Well....that's okay. Are you going to go back to Tony now?"

He nodded, glancing back outside into the cold night, "Yes.....unless....would you like to join me? To replace the absence of your nephew, of course." What do I say to something like that? Sorry, but no, I'm not used to hanging out with vampires. Or yes, only because your magical immortal powers compel me to.

It's now or never. I sighed deeply, returning my gaze on the face of Rudolph, "Yeah, sure. Should be fun...." His hand quickly grabbed onto mine, something that startled me out of my wits. Shivers and chills ran up my body, damn, this boy is ice cold.

"Are you sure you know how to fly?"

Rudolph smirked, "I've been doing this for over three centuries. Please do not distress yourself..."

I challenged, "Oh yeah? How do I know I can trust you?"

"It's your choice to make." I felt his blue lips brush against my exposed ear. Bloody hell, bloody hell, bloody hell. You know what? Life is about taking chances, so I didn't look back as we jumped off the second story window. I didn't worry about Nathan or even Jayden, seeing as they'll both be safe and warm in their beds by the time I return.

Oh Scotland, My Scotland! You haven't failed me after all.

A/N: As I stated in the memo, this oneshot is dedicated to punkrock109. I hope she enjoys it, as well as many others. I also wanted to apologize, because this request was supposed to be up last week, however, I added things to make it even better. Reviews/Messages are nice!---Oh yeah! Rudolph is actually has the appearance of a sixteen year old in this oneshot, if you haven't figured out already!


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